The press are pissed. Why?
President-elect Donald Trump visited the White House on Thursday. Afterwards, he got in his car. He didn’t tell anyone he was leaving. His motorcade reached his airplane and he got in and flew to Trump Tower, sans press. No press pool, which is a group of reporters who follow the president-elect or president and shadow his every move and report on everything he does and says. Not too sure of the reason for this, but it’s a tradition.
The fact that Donald Trump didn’t follow this tradition outraged Wolf Blitzer. Blitzer said that this had better change when Trump is president, because it’s “unacceptable.” Then a bunch of people from The Daily Beast, Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, etc. all piled on with stories about free speech and how the right to a free press was already being eroded and this is what we’ve got to look forward to for the next four years. Typical liberal media bitching and moaning.
I found this all every amusing. Let me tell you why. There is still free press. There is still a First Amendment. None of that has changed. You can still write whatever article you want. Say whatever you want. You can still take pictures and publish them. You can ask for an interview, you can shout out questions. Nothing has changed in that regard.
Here’s what has changed. The booger-eating, fart-sniffing “journalists” who write false and or/defamatory opinion pieces about Trump no longer get special treatment. Remember, these were the losers growing up in school. They sat in the back of the classroom and picked their noses and farted and cupped their hands to whiff the aroma. They were outcasts. They had no friends. They wore headgear for their braces and nobody wanted to hang out with them because they were weird and creepy.
The glimmer of hope was that teacher or professor who was a fart-sniffing booger-eating loser like them, who said, “If you become a journalist, all of that will change. No matter how many boogers you eat or farts you sniff, the pen is mightier than the sword. Once you have a journalism degree and you get a job writing articles in newspapers and blogs, people will instantly want to become your friend.”
The booger-eating fart-sniffers rejoiced, figuring they had finally found a way out of their loserdom. They asked their teachers, “H-h-how does it work?” The teacher said, “Well, say you get a job at Rolling Stone or TIME or Newsweek. Whatever issue you write about, the people who have a vested interest in that issue will bend over backwards to be nice to you so you will write good things about them.”
“Oh yeah, you’ll get invited to great parties. They will shower you with gifts. They will be your friends.”
“Wha-wha-what? I’ll have friends?”
“But what if I write something bad about them?”
“They will still want to be your friend so that you will eventually write something good about them. If you give a movie a bad review, they will be your friend that that maybe your next review will be good.”
These losers start simultaneously orgasming and pissing their pants at the thought of this. The teacher goes on:
“The crown jewel is going to Washington, D.C. and becoming a political reporter. Business and movie executives give loads of perks, but nothing like what you get when you are a Beltway reporter. When you become a journalist in Washington, the streets are paved with gold.”
Now you have all of these booger-eating fart-sniffers invading Hollywood and Washington. They’re popular. They have friends. Now they have record executives calling them up and giving them all-access backstage passes to Metallica concerts. They get to interview James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett and whoever happens to be the bass player at the time. They leave with a huge bag of swag. They feel like rock gods.
I know what I’m talking about. When I ran an entertainment company, there was a certain trade magazine that everyone wanted to have positive press from. Good reviews translated into bigger sales. My job as the owner was to find out which booger-eating fart sniffer to take out to dinner or have a pretty girl be nice to. In turn, my company would be showered with stories and great reviews and we would receive multiple nominations and awards at their annual ceremony.
The same thing goes on in Hollywood. In order for a movie to get a good review that will in turn do great at the box office, movie executives will invite entertainment reporters to parties, grant them access to big stars and give them gift bags with expensive perfume and gold watches.
So in Washington, if you get an assignment to cover the White House, it’s the greatest thing in the world. To follow the president is the dream of every political reporter. If you write for Politico or The Washington Post or The New York Times and get that assignment, guess what? You get to ride around in limousines. You get to fly on Air Force One. You get gourmet food. You get everything. You are treated like gold. Booger-eating fart-sniffers like Glenn Thrush get to tweet pictures of them getting ready to board the presidential plane. Thrush gets to show all the people who called him a loser growing up that he’s a winner. “Look at me. I’m important. I am a reporter covering the president, and you are stuck in Rochester, New York working in an animal hospital and cleaning up poop and your husband is an insurance salesman. See? I guess you shouldn’t have laughed at me when I invited you to the prom, Mary Kate. You should have hung out with me and smelled my farts with me. Then you, Mary Kate, would be riding on Air Force One.”
Donald Trump came along and said, “Sure, you can cover me. But you’re not riding on my airplane. You’re not special.”
“But you’re prohibiting free speech…”
“No, I’m not. You can still go to your desk at The Washington Post and write whatever you want. You have that right. I also have the right whether or not to grant you access and perks if you write a bunch of crap about me.”
Donald Trump is not prohibiting free speech. He’s preventing someone who dumps on him or his campaign from getting to ride in his fancy airplane. He’s prohibiting that person from being able to jump to the front on the line, to have Corey Lewandowski or Kellyanne Conway let them in the back door where they have the good doughnuts and coffee. Trump is preventing someone who thinks they are important and think their pen grants them special power from being treated like what they actually are – A booger-eating, fart-sniffing loser who feels they are entitled to favors because they sit behind a keyboard. They can write their stories and ask him or his surrogates questions and then are told to f*ck off.
Now Trump would be prohibiting free speech and stifling the First Amendment if he were trying to shut down The New York Times or putting reporters in jail. If he were doing that, I would agree that he was a third world tyrant. But he’s not. All he’s doing is saying, “Why should I let you ride around in my limousines or get comps at my hotels or fly in my fancy plane if you are going to make my life difficult with your negative writing? Who the hell are you? I am the president, and when I go to Egypt, you will have to go to your boss and have to ask him to book you a flight to cover it. Start racking up those frequent flyer miles.”
All of you fart-sniffing booger-eaters write for media conglomerates. NBC, CNN, ABC, CBS, etc. all make tons of money. A lot of it was made by covering Trump’s campaign, because a lot of people wanted to hear what he had to say and he brought them ratings, which in turn made the advertisement dollars roll in. We’re talking billions. Now they will have to pay for your plane tickets and book your hotels and rent cars for you. End of story.
That is what Wolf Blitzer is outraged about. That’s what The Daily Beast, Buzzfeed and Huffington Post is outraged about. All of a sudden, they are not being treated like gold. They are not getting the special treatment they were promised back in the days of being outcasts in school. That’s it.
The day Donald Trump puts reporters in prison and federalizes The Washington Post is when you can say he is a threat to free speech and the First Amendment. Trump not letting Glenn Thrush or Katy Tur ride in a limousine or fly in a fancy airplane is not a threat. Sorry, media elites. When journalists complain about Donald Trump revoking their press credentials, all that means is these losers have to wait in line now with everybody else. Because they had to wait in line in the rain or the snow and not be let in the back door and given special seating did not prohibit them from covering his campaign.
The journalists are not getting what they were promised. You’ve seen the emails of them going to special dinners and parties hosted by John Podesta. You don’t think it gives these booger-eaters a huge stiffy being able to email Colin Powell?
This is not “unacceptable,” Wolf Blitzer. What’s unacceptable is all the people in the media who have been treated like precious snowflakes. They are nothing more than a—holes with opinions. That’s it.
Sorry, Wolfie. Sorry, Gloria Borger and Dana Bash. You get to spend the next four years sitting in the back smelling your farts and picking your noses and gobbling your boogers. Just like the old days.
Deal with it.
From 11-11-16 episode of The Rob Zicari Show LIVE 7-10pm M-F