Big news out of MSNBC. Ronan Farrow is no more. 86ed. Canned. Sacked. Fired. Joy Reid was also shown the door. Outta there.
No longer will these two bores assault the viewing public with their god awful television shows.
We reported a couple of weeks ago that these shows were on the chopping block. We also reported that Chris Hayes’ crapfest was in danger of getting the axe. MSNBC honcho Phil Griffin hasn’t been too happy with their ratings over there at MSNBC. They’ve been abysmal. Dead last of all the cable news programs. Dead. Last.
Phil Griffin took over MSNBC in 2008 and has driven that network into the basement. This is a fact. Griffin has a warped ideology when it comes to political programming. He has absolutely no idea of what it takes to succeed in cable news. The proof is in the proverbial pudding.
For the past two and a half years, MSNBC has been plummeting downward. When you think they can’t go any lower, they break through the ice and plunge even further down into the abyss.
Ronan Farrow and Joy Reid’s ratings were so low that even our little internet broadcast gave them a run for their money. For two hours a day those two would bore people to death and basically waste air space.
Because both of them probably have contracts, they will still be involved at MSNBC. Ronan Farrow will be hosting specials. This is perplexing to me. If viewers couldn’t stand him on his daily show, then why would they be interested in seeing him on specials? If I were Phil Griffin, I would have his people get with MSNBC’s people and buy out his contract and be done with him. Why prolong the agony for the viewer?
Joy Reid will also be hanging around as a correspondent and special guest on other MSNBC shows. She’s now going to go right back to where she was before Phil Griffin decided she was scary talent and put her on the air everyday, convinced that millions of people would love her. Wrong.
Who is going to be replacing them? You gotta imagine that Phil Griffin had somebody waiting in the wings. You wanna know who? Thomas Roberts. If you don’t know who Roberts is, he does a program in the morning called Way Too Early. It comes on before Morning Joe. It’s the show that gets people ready for Joe Scarborough. Way Too Early brings news that is breaking as most people are asleep. It is in the time slot that used to occupied by Willie Geist. Willie Geist is a young chap sorta like Chris Hayes, except far less annoying and doesn’t wear hipster douchebag horn-rimmed glasses.
So Phil Griffin, in his infinite wisdom, is putting on Thomas Roberts in the time slot that was occupied by the undynamic duo of Ronan Farrow and Joy Reid. Roberts will be on for two hours and he will deliver straight news. That’s how they describe what Thomas Roberts will be doing. More of a straightforward news-style show. That is Phil Griffin’s big genius plan.
There have been rumblings for months about Ronan Farrow, Joy Reid and Chris Hayes. So this isn’t out of the blue. This has been a long time coming. One would think that Phil Griffin would have had someone with scary talent waiting to be thrusted into their positions and revitalize MSNBC. But no, they put the guy on who does the show when everybody is asleep.
I will say this. You wanna talk about a good looking guy? Thomas Roberts is definitely a looker. Were I a homosexual, Thomas Roberts would be my guy. If I were a little more svelte, I would actually have a chance with Robert, because Thomas Roberts IS a homosexual.
When I first looked at him, I thought this guy is way too good looking to be heterosexual and it turns out I was dead right. I did a Google search and lo and behold, there he is in all of his gay glory. Cover of The Advocate, was married a couple years ago to another nice looking fella. Yes, Thomas Roberts is gay and is a far better looking man than Anderson Cooper.
So I gotta ask Phil Griffin. Why would you not have this little gay jewel be on at night and go head to head with Anderson Cooper? Why is Chris Hayes still infecting that time slot? Why not take the most attractive gay newsman Thomas Roberts and put him against the Silver Fox Anderson Cooper or the stunning Dark Chocolate Don Lemon? Why, Phil? WHY?
Thomas Roberts even has an emotional story attached to him. He was molested by a priest. You night as well drop the mic and walk right off the stage, Thomas Roberts. You win.
A stunningly handsome gay newscaster who was molested by a priest. That is a winner.
Phil Griffin put the Great Gay Hope on in the afternoon. Why does Phil Griffin still have a job?
I know I have absolutely no experience in cable news, but I beseech the owners of MSNBC to call me. Email me at email@example.com. Give me Phil Griffin’s job. Let me program MSNBC. I will make that station a ratings juggernaut.
Thomas Roberts would be my anchor. Thomas Roberts would not be a power bottom, he would be a power player. He would not be sandwiched in the afternoon time slot, he would be at the top. Thomas Roberts would be at the top of the primetime MSNBC lineup. He would be taking home the ratings on a consistent basis.
MSNBC, call me if you know what’s good for you. It ain’t Phil Griffin. Phil needs to go. There needs to be a campaign to get Phil out. You don’t keep a man like Thomas Roberts at the bottom. Thomas Roberts needs to be at the top and driving home the ratings. Thrusting and pumping MSNBC to the cable news mountaintop.
So my question is this. When is Chris Hayes gonna be gone? When is that cancer going to be excised so that MSNBC can thrive? Chris Hayes is the last little bit of melanoma that needs to be lopped off of MSNBC’s nose. Chemo that creep.
While that’s going on, you have Lester Holt doing a fine job as the replacement for the valor stealer Brian Williams.
Lester Holt, the first African-American host of a national network news broadcast is keeping the ratings up and delivering the goods. He needs to stay on and be the permanent replacement for that liar, that scum, that valor stealing douchebag Brian Williams.
Our American heroes are coming home with prosthetic limbs after serving our country. Not the good legs like Oscar Pistorius the blade running murderer, but Lieutenant Dan legs. Our American soldiers are waiting in line at the VA hospital for their crappy Lieutenant Dan legs and Brian Williams is sitting on TV with David Lettermen spinning chopper whoppers.
NBC executives, listen to me. Dump the liar Brian Williams. He’s a weak spineless coward who has to have his salad tossing daughter defend him because he got her the job as Peter Pan.
The news isn’t supposed to be about the anchor delivering the news. Lester Holt does his job. He’s the first African-American who can be in the same league as a Walter Cronkite or a Tom Brokaw or a Dan Rather.
Lester Holt is maintaining the ratings. The only audience members who have left are the fans of the valor stealing douchebag Brian Williams, so by extension they are valor stealing douchebags and who wants valor stealing douchebag audience members anyway? They’re racist. They don’t like Lester because he’s black. F— those valor stealing racists.
Lester Holt is kicking ass. Lester Holt is a friendly black face who will welcome people home at night. Lester’s not some looter. He’s not a rioter. He comes with a twinkle in his eye and gives you the news. That’s what he does.
NBC, you need to keep Lester Holt. You need to promote him as the first African-American national news anchor. Capitalize on the fact that he’s not a valor stealer with a daughter who gets her salad tossed on HBO and embarrasses Daddy so he has to get her a part playing Peter Pan.
These are words of wisdom from your friend Rob Black. Not only should I be the programmer at MSNBC, I should be the programmer at NBC. Fire that woman who loves the valor stealing Brian Williams and give me her job. Give me Phil’s job. Two for one deal here, fellas.
Call me. I will take MSNBC and NBC to the mountaintop and they will see the promised land because I’m that damn good.