Gay Republicans Are In Trouble

From 7-20-16 episode of The Rob Zicari Show LIVE 10-1pm M-F

I don’t like Montel Williams. I’m not sure why. There is one thing I am sure of. Bruce Jenner is a really unattractive woman. I know I’m supposed to refer to Bruce as Caitlyn now, but until he makes the ultimate sacrifice and cuts it off, Bruce is just an ugly dude wearing makeup and a dress. Sorry.

My girlfriend watches shows on E! that feature transgenders. Some of them are passable. If I had about 7 or 8 margaritas, I could possibly be fooled. One of them might end up on their knees. But even if I had 20 margaritas, a shot of H and a Viagra, if I looked down and saw Bruce Jenner looking up at me, there would be no way. It’s an ugly old dude in a wig.

Montel and Bruce headlined an LGBT event at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland on Wednesday. Is Montel Williams a fanook? According to his Wikipedia page, Montel’s been married three times and had a couple of kids. What’s the deal?

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My sister is a famous lesbian from Rochester. Her girlfriend is one of those Bernie Sanders-supporting, militant lesbian activists. I’ll have to ask them how they feel about transgenders hijacking the gay rights movement. Bruce is still Bruce. He still has a ding-dong. He still has balls. Bruce is a crossdresser. Why is he speaking for gays and lesbians?

What a strange duo to be speaking for the gays. What happened to the Log Cabin Republicans? They couldn’t get better representatives for the gay community than Bruce Jenner and Montel Williams? Especially if Montel’s not gay. You have a non-gay and a crossdresser speaking for the gays. What the hell? It just doesn’t work, man. If I’m a gay Logger, Montel and Bruce doesn’t make me happy. I know gay Republicans want gay star power, but really?

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What about Andrew Sullivan? He’s a prominent conservative. A big burly English gay dude with HIV. They couldn’t get him? Sullivan’s got an interesting history.  He was barred from applying for United States citizenship for years because of his HIV-positive status, but the law was eventually changed so he could. He’s had HIV since 1993. Wow. He must have that Magic Johnson AIDS. The good AIDS. The kind that doesn’t turn you into Matthew McConaughey from Dallas Buyers Club.

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It’s a sad testament to our immigration system when a Mexican border jumper can sell oranges on the freeway with no problems, but a smart gay dude like Andrew Sullivan couldn’t get a green card because he’s got HIV.

Andrew Sullivan is a perfect representative for gay Republicans. He’s a great speaker, he’s British, he’s got HIV. How is he not part of a Republican LGBT event, but Montel and Bruce are? How does this happen?

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So Montel and Bruce both spoke at the American Unity Fund brunch. AUF is a conservative organization working to combat discriminatory anti-LGBT policies. Cool. Montel gave an emotional speech where he compared the civil rights struggle to the fight for gay equality. Bruce talked about how much easier it was to come out as transgender than as a Republican. Then he spoke about the transgender bathroom issue. The end.

If this is the best gay Republicans can do, they’re in big trouble.

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